Can't help but look back

Getting grown is one of the things I couldn't wait to do as a child. I wasn't "fresh" or "fast", but I could only think of myself as being myself once I got out of parents' home and finished school. Ah, the follies of youth. Who would've guessed that now, at nearly 31, I look back on my youth as the time I missed. I may have been too busy worrying about silly things like boys and homecoming dates to realize how precious that time should've been for me.
Now, at nearly 31, I wish I'd thought more about the world and my place in it. I just heard someone (who knows, I am not so old that I listen to ALL the details) talking about a new book coming about where women in their 50s and 60s reflect for the them of their teens and early 20s.

OH! It was some actress, because she only said that she would tell herself not to stress about sticking to her art. I've started to really ponder what I would tell myself at 16, knowing the things I think I know at nearly 31.
I know I'd tell myself that there would be plenty of men in the world to love and to love me, I would never have to settle OR rush. Patience truly is a virtue, and something best left to those of us that don't move as fast anymore.
I'm sure that now, at nearly 31, I'd find a way to get it through my thick 16 year old skull that even though I had to worry about classes, college would be the best opportunity--don't fear the unknown, appreciate it for its life-changing splendor...(I really didn't think I'd be going to college when I was 16)...

I can say with great certainty, that after the last nearly 15 years, I would tell myself that marriage and family aren't like on T.V., its hard because the person you fell in love with changes and becomes someone else you sometimes have to find a way to love, no matter what (that is to say that I have become another form of myself and I am sure, harder to love)....I always did find a way to judge my parents for not just giving up, when I should've cherished my mother's great ability to try to keep her relationship together at any cost (even that of her own heart).

And children are not the end-all to be-all, my mother made it look easy. Children are trying and challenging, and often VERY selfish--its the only way they can establish who they really are. They are also the only reason I could thoughtlessly give my own life. I have never felt a love as strong, undying, and fearless as the one I have for my son.

And just to seal the deal, I would make sure I told myself at 16 how much I love me, how much I always did and would, even with the funny-looking hair, cheap shoes, and akward feelings. And yes, everyone will remember me, even if I can't remember their names, as soon as they see me and I will be loved. And I do get to have the nose ring I always wanted.