so, he's damn near 4 years old already...going on 15, of course...we have made a pact--the kind mothers and sons should never make--that I won't "pop" him if he is "nice". Who do you think broke the promise first....go ahead...guess...
I'll give you a second to make some moral judgment against me, because you think I am weaker than a 3.75 yr old...go ahead...
See, YOU ARE WRONG...he yelled at me after almost 3 minutes. We sat down and talked about how he doesn't like to get popped (its bad, he says) and how I don't like to deal with an irate and crazy little boy (excuse me, BIG boy) when he doesn't get his way (its bad, I say and no, he didn't agree). Three minutes later--that's 180 seconds, folks--he was screaming that he didn't want to do something (ahh, I've forgotten already it was so trivial) and he's not going to and Mommy is mean...
and no, I didn't pop him...I walked around his little tirade and decided I may never hit him again.
Let me get all educated Educator on you for a second---
children learn aggressive behavior by modeling--they see how adults (and other children, too) behave and what the reactions around the room are and decide if the possibility of negative reaction is worth them trying it. So, if Daddy doesn't say anything after I pop him, it must be okay to hit other people. They don't think about WHO they are hitting and why...they just know they are mad and hitting.
And, so...I realized that I was doing the same thing, but I was supposed to be able to control myself and at least give him a second to control himself (they apparently need a little more than we do, go figure).
For now, we're happier...send up good thoughts of continued non-violence in my home, and ask if he can stop stomping on ants, too, please.
bless
ama
About Me
- soledadsista3
- Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend,student, teacher, healer, sick, spiritual daughter of light and love, spiritual mother of all and child of the ancestors.
3 comments:
lol! I have to say, as a kid who got her ass BEAT quite a bit as a child (and deservedly so, I must confess), I think smacking kids now and then is okay and doesn't necessarily lead to future violent tendencies on their part.
The key, I think, is just to pick the whoopin's wisely. sounds like you don't have any problems on that front!
okay, as an update, I must say that he's only gotten popped once since I first posted this tirade..that means that I have only really lost my cool OR felt he needed some serious straightening out ONCE...that does not mean, my dear friends and family, that he didn't act like a yellow-bellied sapsucker (I just learned that this is a species of woodpecker, but I digress...)...He's been acting like life sucks every day, twice a day and I completely ignore it...
but you probably don't believe me anyway...
moving on...
ama
TOBD,
I have to say that for a minute there, I was going crazy with the popping and promises of popping...its calmed down since I started thinking about it, though...
ama
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